Steven, it’s Jodie. I just wanted to see if you’re coming to the party Saturday.

Jodie, hi. I’d forgotten it was this weekend. It’s come round quickly, hasn’t it? I’m quite busy Saturday. I’d really like to come, though. Would it be okay if I got there later in the evening?

Yes, sure. You can come any time. It’d be great to see you.

I’d like to come really late, if it’s okay. After the public transport’s stopped for the night. I’ll come in a cab, and get there when the small talk’s finished with, and there are people sprawled on the stairs, stoned out of their faces, and strangers in your bed, and a naked man doing handstands in the front garden, and one of your friends is photographing everything and saying it’s going straight onto their Tumblr. There’s a group of teenage girls who are smoking in the kitchen, and no one knows who any of them are, but they don’t seem to be doing any harm, apart from they’re talking in hushed tones, and they’re showing no interest in anything that’s going on. They’re polite enough, and quiet, but for some reason you’ve told someone that you don’t want them there, and that person advised you that you shouldn’t make a scene, that things could turn nasty if you try to get rid of them. Then handstands man wanders into the kitchen. He’s got a great body. He doesn’t shave, or sculpt, and he’s got a sexy line of dark hair on his belly. You like that, don’t you? He starts looking in the cupboards to see if he can get his hands on some strong liquor. He seems to have forgotten that you’re the host. The teenage girls just watch him. You all watch him. No one says anything. The man smiles at one of them. He likes her. He starts to get a hard-on. You pull him away from the kichen, out into the front garden again, but he says, “That girl in there – do you know her?” You quite like him. You like his lips, and his accent. He’s good-looking, and he’s already naked, and you think how easy it would be to tell him to forget about the girl in the kichen, and kiss him and touch him. You can have sex with him on the front lawn. It’ll be very easy to engineer. And your friend can take pictures of all that too. You’ll agree to the images going online, because you don’t really care about any of that. But in the morning, you’ll see the pictures, and you’ll start to wonder if it was such a good idea. It’ll all feel different on Sunday morning. Things always do, don’t they?

Yes, right. Well, it’s very fanciful, that little scenario you’re describing. I’m pretty sure none of it’s going to happen. Not at all. You know my parties. They can’t compete with any of that. I’m sure it’ll be quite dull in comparison. But, just come along anyway, if you can. I’d like to see you. Don’t come too late, though. I don’t know how long things will go on for.

I’ll try to come along. I’d really like to see you too. It’s been ages. I’ve got a lot going on at the moment, but I’ll try to get there.