The story behind ‘Gray’

‘Gray’ – the fifth story in Broken Rules and Other Stories (Transit Lounge, 2020) – tells the tale of an empathetic sex-worker and a new client, an elderly man whose financial circumstances preclude any further appointments. Once their session is over, instead of leaving, the worker accompanies the elderly man to the local park, where they spend time talking and enjoying coffee and ice-cream. Here’s a situation where time is money, but the younger man wants no additional payment, and simply enjoys the company of the other, despite occasional flashes of crankiness.

A while ago I heard a sex-worker being interviewed about their experiences. They were asked how they approached situations where they found the client unattractive, and the humanity of their response stayed with me: they said that they never think of anybody as unattractive, that every person has something about them that’s attractive.

In ‘Gray’, the older man anticipates a need to provide a ‘something’ that the other will find attractive and fulfilling, and when they’re in bed he produces black-and-white images of himself in his younger days. The person in these photos is simply a different version of the man that presents them – all that separates the two iterations is the passage of time. Surely the current version must retain vestiges of earlier versions, and something more substantial than memories or echoes. It’s this consideration that sparked the story – I’d been wondering about the ways in which we’re the sum of our earlier selves, how we carry our pasts or histories, and what remains or develops as we age.

We cannot know for sure if the sex-worker in ‘Gray’ needed the stimulus of the photos. I’d like to think that the photos were unnecessary, that he is an astute observer, good at his job, discerning and intuitive enough to not require so obvious a clue – the evidence in the story certainly points to this conclusion. He is after all in the business of people and their qualities and intimacies. Empathy and understanding run both ways in ‘Gray’, and this may be one of the reasons why the two characters form a comfortable and easy bond. But what will happen when their time in the park inevitably comes to an end?

7 responses to “The story behind ‘Gray’”

  1.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    ‘Gray’ was broadcast on Vision Australia Radio’s Cover to Cover in October 2020. I’ll see if I can get Barry to record this post as an introduction for a rebroadcast.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Tim McQueen Avatar
    Tim McQueen

    G’day Barry,

    I’ve tracked down my reading of ‘Gray’ in October 2020. Would you like to record this post on Thursday as an introduction for a rebroadcast? Cheers,

    Tim

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Tim. I’d love to – that’d be great! I’m looking forward to Thursday.

      Like

  3. Helen McDonald Avatar
    Helen McDonald

    I sometimes wonder, too, what remains of our former selves as we age and develop, and how we carry our past with us. I see the older man as wanting to show how he was – to give a more complete picture of where he is now. Perhaps it is him saying ‘I wasn’t always like this’. I love this story with its nuances of acceptance and compassion.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. ‘I wasn’t always like this’: yes, I like that. And perhaps there was a time, not so very long ago, when others might have paid for his company in much the same way as he’s now doing. And in that sense perhaps the younger man is being offered a glimpse into his own future, a preview of what lies ahead. Thanks for reading, Helen – the post and the story.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Looking forward to the rebroadcast, Barry.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So am I! Thanks for swinging by, Margaret.

      Liked by 1 person

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